Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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