Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's rum buckets o'clock
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
