i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize