I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I will pee on everything he values.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize