we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
