I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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