How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I need to calm my uterus...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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