I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
