Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
