You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
