we have officially mastered the walk of shame
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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