North Korea, Best Korea!
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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