you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
