Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Randomize
