I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
