I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My balls are so social today.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
