His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
