Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
