my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
