I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
