It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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