im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
