I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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