there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
