sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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