so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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