using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I will pee on everything he values.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
