I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
