No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
