If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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