Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
