I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
