you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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