I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
