Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
