for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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