OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
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