Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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