Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
