She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
