I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
