I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
