Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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