Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
