I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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