Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
