Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
