threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize