Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
