i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
