Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
