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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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