It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
