I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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