She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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