were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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