Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
