just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
