You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You ate ashes out of my bong
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
