I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
