shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Come see our sink grown plant.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
