Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
