Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
