3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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