2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm too high and old for this...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize