I look better un-naked...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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