any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
