Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
