and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
