i permit you to call me
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
