Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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