So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
