As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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